Chipozzle

This couple sitting behind me on BART today were discussing burritos. The guy was trying to show his girlfriend how big Chipotle burritos were. Her response: "How should I know how big the burritos there are? I've never eaten ay Chip--, Chip---, Chipo--, Chipozzle! Those sound like they could be shared by two people"

Him: "Well, yeah, they could be shared, but you could eat an entire one. I like your 'tender bits' ".

At this point, he pinched her love handles.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? That it sounds like there's something off with this guy?

She then asked him about the sodas there. He mentioned they were okay, but not as good as "that place" with the good pure cane sugar sodas. He explained to her that the Illuminati shut the other place down and told them that they were required to serve the "poisonous other stuff."

That's not it. When we exited the Transbay tunnel, he cried out when he saw the smog against the hills. He explained to her that it was "radioactive dust." He believed that they should invest in a geiger counter to measure Uranium levels. She agreed (earnestly) that they ought to.

I love listening to some good conspiracy theories on my BART ride home!